What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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