Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
