People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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