She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You're like the curious george of whores
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
