she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
