You're my little dorito
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
