After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
