I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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