dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize