Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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(703): View more from Virginia

My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!

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(931): View more from Tennessee

just woke up in my neighbors garage.

(931): View more from Tennessee

scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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(907): View more from Alaska

My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

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(305): View more from Florida

Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.

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(949): View more from California

You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol

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