I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize