i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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