Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
