So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize