So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
