Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
