i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she woke up with a sticky ear
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
