Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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