My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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