it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
