i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
