chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
