I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
