she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
