i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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