I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
