If that was your dad, he is hot
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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