Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
