i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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