Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Alive.
So much puke
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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