You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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