I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
