At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if only i could text you this smell
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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