i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
A+ Viking dick
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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