yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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