I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
