Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
only if we run a train.
done.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
