i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
