There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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