i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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