I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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