i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
