you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
