Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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