i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
