If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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