If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
