So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
