Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
