Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
