what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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