I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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