I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
