I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
