Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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