My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
