i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
