it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
