i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
