Got a toothbrush?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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