were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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