we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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