maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
