Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
