I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
