actually, I'm a sock model
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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