a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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