I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize