even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it glows. i had to have it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
