My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize