Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
