from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
