Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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