worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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