So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
