Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
